Tips to walking the fine line between aspiration and reality, with Beforeyouspeak Ecom Manager Shelley
In my humble opinion, we’re a pretty talented bunch here at Beforeyouspeak, each with a unique passion for something outside of our work. In our midst we have dedicated gym junkies, triathlon superstars, marathon & trail runners, CrossFit guns and Hyrox enthusiasts. Me? I’m a Bikini Bodybuilding Pro with a string of national titles under my belt, born with diamantes in my blood and a never ending goal to out achieve my lingering imposter syndrome.
One thing we all have in common is the challenge of finding balance between work, goals, hobbies, and our social and family needs. Rolling out of a massive week celebrating BYS’s 7th birthday, I’ve taken it upon myself to share what I’ve learnt about finding the middle ground, and prioritising your aspirational pursuits without missing out on the best things life has to offer. This blog is for the overachievers, the ones who are never satisfied with their best and always strive for more, so let’s dig in.
All Or Nothing
A driven individual can often fall victim to this mindset, the goal and the process is all consuming. Until it isn’t… Only you can master the balance required to make yourself proud without sacrificing everything else, and only you can control how you bounce back if everything falls apart.
My favourite quote from one of my coaches has to be ‘If you got one flat tyre, would you get out and slash the other three?’ No, you wouldn’t. You would repair one and drive on like nothing ever happened, so apply the same principle to your goals. You're a human, you will f*ck up, it's how quickly you recover that's important.
Lifestyle vs Athleticism
In a nutshell, how serious your goals are will always determine how serious you need to be about the process, and for how long. If you’re hitting the gym and tracking your macros because you’re escaping the Aussie Winter for a Euro Summer, then you probably don’t need to skip the cake at your besties baby shower. If you’re getting on stage in a bikini or funky trunks that fit inside a snap lock bag with the goal of a podium finish, then yeah you’re probably going to have to take your meal prep to social events for a while!
Get Comfortable With Being Uncomfortable
Now I know NOTHING about running, if I’m running something is on fire so follow me to the nearest exit asap. But I watched in awe as BYS Social Media legend Emilia prepped for a triathlon, and then backed it up with a full marathon (who does that?!). Her long run sessions were LONG, and I have no doubt some days she wanted nothing more than to soak in a bath and go to bed. But she kept showing up for her friends, her family, and her co-workers because she accepted that the process is going to suck some days. End of story.
Tackling Social Settings
Events often result in the temptation to break your commitment to yourself and your goals during times of strict compliance. As tempting as it can be, you don’t need to isolate yourself from the world, remember that your loved ones will be the ones to cheer you on and celebrate your success at the end! On days where your social life needs to take priority, these are my top tips to stay on track:
- Triage your daily tasks ahead of time, prioritise your training and get it done early so you have the freedom to enjoy the day as it comes.
- Pre-prepare your nutrition if needed, and chat to the people you’ll be with ahead of time so they understand your commitments from the outset.
- Set boundaries for yourself, if you program a controlled refeed leave it at the door, aka don’t go home and eat a tub of icecream in bed! Have a drink or two, but offer to be the designated driver so you have a hard stop line. Set a strict leaving time so you can prioritise sleep, and get straight back to business the next day.
- No is a complete sentence. Don’t let outside voices get inside your head, people either get it or they don’t and it’s not your responsibility to justify your choices if your willpower makes them uncomfortable.
- Harness visualisation, in the moments when temptation to skip training or ditch your nutrition is at an all time high, take a breath and picture the overwhelming moment of accomplishment when you hit the finish line or climb to the top of that podium 🏆
Master Your Mindset
I’ve gone to many social events (even a wedding) with my meal prep containers in tow, politely saying no to tasty treats and alcohol while worrying that I’d be miserable while missing out. But you know what, 100% of the times that I showed up and dug deep into my discipline reserves, I had a great time and felt like I’d accomplished something by letting my willpower drive my choices instead of instant gratification.
You don’t have to love all of the journey all of the time. But you do need to remember your goals are your choice, and you’re only ruining your own experience (and driving everyone else crazy!) if you sink into a negative mindset and hate the entire process.
The Power Of The Professional
If you take one thing away from this, let it be HIRE A GOOD COACH. Coaches who are qualified to help you tackle athletic pursuits are there for so much more than just giving you a good training and nutrition program. They’re an accountability strong hold, an understanding ear, and a problem solver for when you genuinely can’t work out how to balance being everything to everyone while also showing up for yourself.
Can’t Get Back On Track?
If you keep letting outside influences (people and events) get the best of you and you feel truly defeated, then should you consider delaying your goal? If you don’t want it badly enough to commit to the hard stuff, or if life is genuinely too much right now, then is it the right time to tackle this goal? Or are you just repeating the cycle of failure and unnecessary guilt when you could just be enjoying your life for now and trying again later?
This blog could go on forever (I do love to talk), we haven’t even touched on the topics of self care, recovery, or protecting your mental health! But my parting comment is this, contrary to the common turn of phrase, sometimes you actually can’t have your cake and eat it too. Eventually you’re going to have to choose between normality and obsession to achieve your lofty athletic pursuits, and trying to do it all is a sure fire way to burn out. Set yourself up for success and go kick some ass 💪